Mar 1, 2011

Pushing 30 ... almost.

Lily drew my portrait. Notice the "blah-ness" of my expression?

My upcoming birthday has made me reflect on this past year and boy, I'm not liking what I remember. I feel like my body, brain, and emotions have all betrayed me. I don't want to go into specifics, because who wants to come to my pity party? No one, not even me! I know aging is something we all have to deal with, so I am looking for ways to cope. I'm trying to eat better. I'm trying to exercise regularly. I'd like to be sleeping better (dang James, still nursing at night!). I'm trying to feed my soul with the scriptures. I want to learn to do new things (doll-making and wood-working and home-schooling and gardening and knitting and this secret handshake) to get my brain working again. Of course, trying to learn all of those things at once will surely send me spiraling into a never ending black-hole of "I can't do anything right", so I am trying to prioritize.
Sidenote: I love to prioritize and make lists. More than I actually like to *do* things. Maybe I should work on that too.
Attack of James buddy
So please, send some encouraging thoughts my way. I know I'm too young to be having a mid-life crisis (I better live past 58!), but I'm having a hard time talking myself out of one.
At least I'm not this guy. Poor middle-aged latino man riding a chicken :(


  1. You are an amazing woman, mother, wife and daughter -- so quit giving yourself such a hard time (I know, easier said than done!) Also, go each a bunch of dark chocolate...really...right now!

    And while you're waiting for that to kick in, don't forget to use Recovery:
    I don't have to be exceptional.
    I don't have to be a hero, saint or angel.
    By lowering my expectations, my performance will rise.
    A thought produced it (the anxiety), a thought can drop it.
    Redirect insecure thoughts to secure thoughts. Endorse for effort not the outcome.

    Ok, I could go on and on...but you get the gist.
    I love you!

  2. You just don't see how amazing you are, Miss Jessi! Satan loves to tell us moms all kinds of rotten, stinking lies. They're NEVER true!!!

    There are seasons for everything, and you're just in that busy-mom-of-littles season. I know it feels like you'll be there forever (I used to HATE it when older moms said that to me-- sorry!), but it will all change so fast your head will spin.

    Hang in there. You are doing a GREAT work!

    "Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great." D&C 64:33

    YOU ARE LOVED!!! {{{hugs!}}}

  3. Dang, I wish I had a chicken to ride around, that would be awesome!

    It's good to have things to work on, it keeps us humble, but we have to remember the good things that we have and the amazing things that we have been blessed with. Sometimes it feels like we don't have any specific talents, but we do! You have a lots of amazing talents, Mrs. I just whipped up this awesome apron that I now use all the time when I'm cooking(ok, the point of view changed mid sentence there...) I think even having the motivation to want to do those new things is awesome!

  4. what?!? aging?? you???? NO! first off, you look like you are 20-HOT! and secondly, you are a do-it-all-wonder-woman! Stop this! If I am like you at nearly 30-i'd be happy!