Stop reading here if you just wanted to see belly pictures.
I have to admit that these three pictures were the only times I put on clothes, besides church. Otherwise, I've been wearing pj's exclusively. I know I've mentioned briefly my stint with PPD after Lily, but as I've looked back through my blog, I haven't been very open with my struggle with depression through the rest of my life. It's not that I try to hide it - I really try to be open about my struggle so I can share the resources I've found - I think I fell into the trap of "let's make everyone think our life is perfect online so nothing I say can come back to haunt me".
Before I start, you'll have to excuse me for not recalling exact dates, numbers, and experiences. For me, being depressed was like living in a fog, and I can't remember much of anything from that time in my life - even the times while I was medicated and felt I had a handle on the depression. It hurts my heart that I can't remember important events in my life because of it - specifically, I feel like my courtship with Mike and our wedding have been stolen from me because I can only remember them when looking at pictures.
bipolar disorder. I was on an anti-psychotic and an anti-depressant from that point (again having to cycle through several different combinations of medications to find the right fit) until I was 25ish. Several different times during high school my mom had taken me to a group called Recovery International, but they didn't seem to do very much for me and I didn't attend it with any regularity.
By the time I was about 21, I had pretty much hit rock bottom in my life. I don't want to go into specifics on my blog, but I've talked about that period of my life with people when I feel prompted to. Suffice it to say I had moved away from home, abandoned the Gospel, racked up a huge amount of credit card debt, and wound up losing almost every friend that I had because of the foolish choices I was making. Once I had literally nothing to lose, and everything to gain (and with enormous faith and love from my parents) I moved back in with my parents and started going to the Recovery groups three times a week. I learned some great coping skills and continued to go to groups after Mike and I got married.